So That's Why I Feel So Emotionally Messed Up!

“Why am I so afraid?,” Sam said to his friend Tim. “It is like it came out of nowhere! I just walked into the home where I grew up and fear rolled over me like a massive wave. I was overwhelmed by it!” Sam’s experience has all the markings of a historical emotion. That is, an emotion that occurred in childhood and is re-experienced at a later point in life, often in adulthood. The historical emotion has been repeatedly experienced early in a person’s life, to the point that it takes up permanent residence in the fabric of the individual’s being. It lies dormant until a person experiences a constellation of events that reflect the earlier painful experience. At this point the emotion is reactivated and re-experienced, except at a later time. This can be confusing for the person if they try to understand the emotion from a “present” perspective only.

Allow me to illustrate. Stan hated his father’s domineering attitude. He constantly shamed Stan in public most of his life. Now at 25 years of age he believes he is free from these humiliating experiences with his dad until his boss “blows up” on him one day at work. The boss’ anger was combined with harsh condescending words. Stan was overwhelmed with a deep sense of shame and embarrassment instantly. The boss had reactivated his old emotional pain. The only difference was he was experiencing the childhood emotion in an adult body.
I have provided more information about historical emotions below. These may help you identify and understand these in your life.

1. This type of emotion can move you from extreme calm to frantic in a matter of seconds, even milliseconds. This is because you have experienced this emotion repeatedly to the point that it seems to bypass the will and conscience. When reactivated it responds immediately or faster.
2. When a historical emotion is experienced you are left with a perplexed sense. It leaves you saying, “Where did that come from?” or “What was that?” If you try to make sense out of the feeling from a present perspective you will only be frustrated because the key is to be found in the past.
3. If you are not sure if an emotion has history then ask this diagnostic question, “When and where have I felt like this before?” This will give you a vehicle to connect the present emotion to its historical antecedent.

If you discover strong, dark, historical emotions are common with you then it may be that you have significant past pain. Do not be afraid to seek help, even professional help if necessary. Once addressed you will find that you present relationships will take on a deeper significance and that peace will be easier to obtain internally.